Telephone Safety 

1)          If you arent comfortable giving your phone number out, ask if you can call them. In this day and age of caller ID, it is very easy for folks to figure out exactly who you are and where you live just by knowing your phone number. You, the caller, have a couple options to protect yourself:

          a)           Disable the Caller ID function - information on doing this can be found in your phone book under the heading "Safety Tips." By disabling the system, the person receiving your call will not get a transmission of your phone number on their ID box.
          b)          Invest in a Pre-Paid Calling Card - Make your calls with a prepaid card from a pay phone. DO NOT use a pre-paid card from your home as your phone number will show up on caller ID.

2)          Keep your first couple of calls short.
While you are probably anxious to get to know this person better, keep your first few calls under 15 minutes each. Use these first few call to "feel out" the other person. Again, offer information in small doses get to know each other gradually. As time goes by, and you begin to feel more comfortable with each other, increase the amount of time per call.

3)          Do not feel like you are insulting the other person by taking things slowly.
A good potential partner will appreciate and encourage you to take things at a pace comfortable for you. If you feel like things are happening too fast, tell the other person.

4)          Observe the other persons personal phone rules. This is simple courtesy. Is your potential partner a single mother with a small child who doesnt want to be called after 9pm? Has a potential partner given you a work number, but asks you not to call repeatedly throughout the day? Respect for other peoples personal phone rules will show that you respect them.

5)           When you are comfortable with each other and ready to set up a Real Time Meeting, share the final important bits of information about yourselves. Before setting up a place to meet, now is the time, to share full names, addresses, and work information. While some people may seem nervous about doing this, remember: this is someone you are going to have an intimate BDSM / sexual relationship with. Dont you want to know exactly who you are sharing your body with?

Also, at this point, you must examine any Red Flags that may have come up in conversations, and deal with them BEFORE making plans to meet real time Does your potential partner:

  •           Refuse to tell you his/her phone number, full name, or address?
  •           Refuse to tell you their place of work?
  •           Refuse to discuss his/her home life, possible spouses, significant others, etc.?
  •           Ignore your wishes regarding personal phone rules?
  •           Push you for information you are not ready to reveal?
  •           Push you to meet real time, even if you are not ready?
  •           Tell you safewords, safety precautions, and meeting in public are not necessary?

If anything.ANYTHING.make you suspicious, nervous, or just doesnt "feel right", DO NOT proceed with a real time meeting. At this point, you have two options:

          a) Continue talking and try to figure out what is wrong.
          b) End the relationship.

Remember.if things are not working out, it is far better to be honest and up front about what you are feeling and end a relationship than to string someone along and keep getting their hopes up.

All material Copyright Mistress Ren and LesVoiles.  Please do not reproduce without permission.

Page Updated 08/27/05



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